To be or Not To Be Rejected

It’s been a few days since I stopped being a slave to lusts of the flesh. It doesn't change the fact that I miss Muktar. Like I said earlier, he is a nice guy and he was a part of my life. I haven't called him and he hasn't called me. Maintaining a friendship with him maybe a little difficult but as well as being a lover, he was also a friend and I miss that part about him. Last night I went out for a drink with Ethan. It was nice to have someone to talk to after a long hard day. I wonder what he would say if he could have read my mind. My friend, Austin, thinks I should tell Ethan how I feel. I think maybe I should, but I’m afraid. Austin says he doesn’t see what it is I’m afraid of. For a while I pretended it was nothing in particular but I think I’ve found the courage to admit to myself what it is. I’m afraid of rejection. Yes, rejection. I’ve been sheltered (and a little spoilt) most of my life. I haven’t had "no" said to me a lot. It’s almost a miracle that I grew up to be mature and responsible. This should give you an idea why I am afraid of rejection. But then isn't everyone?! Another friend of mine, Emeka, encouraged me to go ahead and declare my feelings. He told me that rejection would only make me strong and prepare me for true love. That may be true but where Ethan is concerned I’d rather not experience that. Anyhow, what’s the worst that could happen? I’ve really got nothing to loose, or have I? I do not have him right now so it’s not like I could loose him! My mind’s made up and I am going to “tell him that the sun and moon rise in his eyes”. Just kidding! But I think the song Tell Him by Celine Dion and Babara Streisand really puts my predicament in picture.